| Who borrows all your ready cash, |
| And with it cuts a mighty dash, |
| Proving the lender weak and rash? -- |
| Your friend! |
| 5 Who finds out every secret fault, |
| Misjudges every word and thought, |
| And makes you pass for worse than nought? |
| Your friend! |
| Who wins your money at deep play, |
| 10 Then tells you that the world doth say, |
| "'Twere wise from clubs you kept
away?" |
| Your friend! |
| Who sells you, for the longest price, |
| Horses, a dealer, in a trice |
| 15 Would find unsound, and full of vice? |
| Your friend! |
| Who eats your dinners, then looks shrewd; |
| Wishes you had a cook like Ude, |
| For then much oft'ner would intrude -- |
| 20 Your friend! |
| Who tells you that you've shocking wine, |
| And owns, that though he sports not fine, |
| Crockford's the only place to dine? -- |
| Your friend! |
| 25 Who wheedles you with words most fond |
| To sign for him a heavy bond. |
| "Or else, by Jove, must quick abscond |
| Your friend." |
| Who makes you all the interest pay, |
| 30 With principal, some future day, |
| And laughs at what you then may say? |
| Your friend! |
| Who makes deep love unto your wife, |
| Knowing you prize her more than life, |
| 35 And breeds between you hate and strife? -- |
| Your friend! |
| Who, when you've got into a brawl, |
| Insists that out your man you call, |
| Then gets you shot, which ends it all? -- |
| 40 Your friend!!! |
|
